Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
