he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
