discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize