Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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