that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
