Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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