he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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