my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
