I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
