now i know why i became what i already was.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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