Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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