Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
a search helicopter?!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
