i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
