I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
