PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
