Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
