she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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