I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize