Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
