We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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