just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
