Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
