Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
A+ Viking dick
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
