Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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