when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
