Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize