You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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