How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
