The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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