i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
NoShamevember. You game?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
