my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
