it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm bleeding and have questions
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
