The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
