look no pants
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
