I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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