Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
