that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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