after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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