I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize