I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
