East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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