i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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