normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
