he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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