hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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