I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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