I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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