how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
