I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
