Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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