Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
