it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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