she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
