My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
