I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
