marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
