Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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