You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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