I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize