u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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