Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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