she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize