You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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