hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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