don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
