His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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