What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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