Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
