at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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