So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
