I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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